Burning the Candle at Both Ends? Overwhelmed?
This past Monday my executive coaching clients and I had a web conference on “time management”.
The truth is, we don’t, nor can we ever, manage time. We can’t slow it down, speed it up, stop it, or re-boot it.
What we can do, however, is manage our minds and our energy.
Given that, of course, the natural question is HOW? And that’s what our whole discussion was about.
I have yet to meet the person who doesn’t feel overwhelmed once in a while. One of the “tricks”, if you will, is to realize that overwhelmed is just that: a feeling, a way of being. It is not a disease, or something someone transmits to you. Even your workload can’t transmit it to you (although it may seem that way). It is a way you choose (consciously or unconsciously) to feel, a way you choose to be. Once you have chosen to be that way, some type of habitual behavior kicks in that goes along with that feeling you have chosen. aka, grouchiness, trouble focusing, disengagement, adrenaline-pumping work completion, frozen-ness, detachment, you name it.
I saw a sign over an employee’s desk at one of the companies I am consulting, that says: “No one can make me feel ________ without my permission”. (in the blank is the word angry, guilty, or some other emotion, I can’t remember which)
What if we tweaked that message to say: “No circumstance or event or series of events, or unfinished workload can make me feel overwhelmed without my permission”?
In her coaching session yesterday, one of my executive clients said, “But isn’t it true that there is no such thing as an 8 hour work day anymore, no such thing as Saturdays off, and it is reasonable to expect everyone to work 11 or 12 hours at their job, and expect them to communicate during ‘off’ hours, at least check their emails if nothing else?” I understand where she was coming from. Somehow along the way, we have allowed ourselves to be brainwashed that this is the case. Our expectations are greater that people will be available 24/7, they can do the work of 3 people, (thanks to technology), and that we can multi-task our way through the day, evening, and during our family time. She described her personal after dinner time as “in front of the tv with the family, while I check my work emails.”
Is this wrong? No. Is it what we must do to keep up? No. It is a choice. Every choice we make is attached to: “what I am willing to give up to get what I want?”
Ask yourself three questions today: (for those of you who journal, this is a great journal exercise)
1. What is one thing I can do to manage my mind better and give up some of my “overwhelmed-ness”?
2. What will I have to do or give up to make that happen?
3. Who will I have to be to make this change successful?
Work on implementing just one thing at a time. It starts with your decision. You choose to be overwhelmed or not. What are some of the things you can delegate, take off your plate entirely, or defer until later? Please be realistic about how much time is in a day and how much energy you have, and what is importatnt to you and in line with your vision, values, and mission. This is a process. I am here if you need help.
Always committed to your success,
Coach Julia
